Somewhere Not in Virginia - Wednesday Afternoon, Fandom Time

[mouthy_merc]

	Next stop, as it appeared, was a marketplace. The sun shone down hard on the barren ground, and men and women in Middle Eastern dress pottered around the place, making a lot of noise. None of which was particularly distinguishable. Strewn over a grocery cart, a newspaper, written entirely in Arabic, made out the date.
Wade	Wade cocked his head to the side, looking at the paper closely. Sometimes he kinda wished he couldn't read that. "How about if I click my heels three times? I can! Really I can, Nate," he said, looking around for the one thing that's not like the others. Namely, a giant mutant messiah. "Or you could. Since this is all on you, after all."
Nate	"No, thank you." The giant mutant messiah wasn't as obvious as he may have been-- clad in simple clothes, the only tell-tale signs of it being Cable were the gloves. And the face. The scars were kind of a giveaway. He was warding off an old man who kept offering him the same bundle of unappetizing pumpkin seeds.
Wade	"But I'm ready for the teacups now. This ride is getting boring," Wade replied, giving the pumpkin seeds a longing look. He hadn''t eaten... well he really wasn't sure, but food sounded pretty nice. "Maybe a nice ride on the carousel instead? I always wanted to ride on a stylized dragon that has been pared down to a kid friendly ride."
Nate	With a slight frown, Nate glanced up at Wade. He recognized the man, now-- it'd only been a few years since they'd declared a ceasefire, but... "Deadpool."
Wade	Wade rolled his eyes, trying to grab the seeds. Damn lack of tangibility. "Yes, me Deadpool, you Cable. Together we fight crime." A beat. "And watch bitchy models and drink beer. Is there beer here? Because that creepy milk crap was just wrong."
Nate	"Just a manifestation," Nate surmised. He wasn't sure why or how; the man offered him the seeds again. Two nuisances at once. Why was he being so insistant? Diverting his attention, Nate glanced into the man's mind for an instant. Careful. So careful. And found a sentence. A Russian sentence. "Don't you have any... uh... poached mushrooms?" "Finally!" And there went the seeds, soaring. "I knew it must be you! Hurry up! The truck won't wait for long!" And suddenly he was being dragged along. Sometimes, these things just came to him.
Wade	Following along behind him because it was either that or looking at the seeds sadly some more. He wanted food, damn it! "Am not, because this is all your doing and why are we following this guy? If this is another semi-suicidal attempt to change the world, so help me, I will kick you in the head."
Nate	"I'm curious." He wondered why his subconscious was bringing in Deadpool, of all people-- not particularly someone of that great a significance. Or why he even felt the need to justify himself. By the truck, several men argued about whether or not the newcomer was the one they'd been waiting for. Curiosity moved Nate to take his place in that truck, casting a glance at his fellow passenger-- a young blonde woman, still standing by the side of the vehicle and bearing a backpack.
Wade	"Well curiosity killed the cat and I'm not in the mood to sit around and wait for you to get your dumb ass killed again," Wade snapped, not quite getting in the truck yet, watching the men argue instead. "Stupid messiahs and their dragging people along on freaking trips down memory lane. You could have at least warned me! I would have eaten first!"
Nate	"I don't know what you're talking about," Nate replied, settling against the side of the truck. "Or why you're here."
Men	"But it's a woman!" the old man argued, gesturing at the girl. "And look who I brought!" "Ah, you know those westerners," Oraz replied, smoking a cigarette. "She knew the password." "My guy knew the password, too!" Their previously silent friend interfered. "Kehmebek, Oraz... we'll take them both to Kolya and let him decide, all right?" A pause. "...You did check your guy for weapons, right?"
Wade	Wade rolled his eyes and hopped into the truck, looking at the woman with Nate there. Somewhere between checking her out and looking for weapons. "Not bad. Then again, I do have this weird thing for blondes recently." He took a seat next to Nate, pushing him because he could and that was just fun after all this non-touching thing. "I'm here because you dragged me along somehow. Not allowed, damn it. My brain has a no telepaths sign up and you just waltzed right in and started livin' there."
Nate	"Why would I bring in you?" Nate asked. Any earlier, and there would have been severe dislike in there; now it was muted down, pressed into a faint mix of apathy and vague curiosity.
Joy	The girl, meanwhile, had made it over to the truck. She got a helping hand up from Nate. Of course. "Thanks," she said, grinning. "I'm Joy, by the way."
Nate	Nate gave her a nod. "Nathan."
Wade	"You didn't! This is, like, four years ago and all memory-ish. If it was my memories, you'd use that crazy telepathy to get us out, but noooo. I have to be stuck here with you not knowing about everything." Wade flopped back, ignoring the pair now. "Can we just find the you I'm looking for and get the hell out of here? I'm not liking the old you much. Too much stoic. You should thank me for making you act like a person, damn it."
Nate	"My memories?" Nate shot him a speculative look. "Why would I go back to this...?"
Joy	The girl was still staring at him as the truck jerked into movement. "Do you mind a personal question, Nathan?"
	"I'mma guess something life altering is gonna happen," Wade said tiredly. "Which is karma paying you back for living in my head and seeing crap." He just wanted to go home now. He wanted his bed. And his ninja. And his food.
Nate	There was another moment of consideration of Wade-- the curious part of his mind putting together the fragments. Then he leaned his head back against the side of the truck, eyes closing. "No," he told the girl.
Joy	"You wouldn't be Nathan Sumner, codename: Cable, would you?" Joy asked, with all the glee of a young SHIELD agent who was just a slight bit of a fangirl.
Nate	Nate opened one eye. "You wouldn't be an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., would you?"
Joy	And Joy... Joy stared. Like a fangirl. "Wow! That telepathy thing of yours really works!"
Wade	Wade just stared at her. "Do they get dumber, or is just me?"
Nate	"No telepathy." Wade may have earned something akin to a vaguely amused look, there. He may have agreed. Just a little. "The S.H.I.E.L.D. file from a few years ago is the only one that misspells my last name the way you just did."
Wade	"I mean, I know you have about twenty names by now, but is Summers really that hard to get? Don't they know about your wonderful idiot of a dad?" He paused, thinking something over. "Is he sleeping with Emma at this point? I never paid close enough attention to all that X-Gossip. Which was just poor planning on my part in case I met up with any of them, I know."
Nate	"Apparently it is," Nate deadpanned at Deadpool, ignoring Joy's odd looks.
Joy	"I remember the erratum now!" Joy proclaimed, suddenly. "Some secretary must've been thinking of Sting when she was typing the file."
Nate	And Nate raised an eyebrow. Sting...? "Sting?" he asked.
	Wade cocked his head to the side, looking Nate over. "I guess I can see the Sting there. In the jawline. Chiseled by Rodin." He coughed. "Don't mention that to Arashi when we get outta here, kay?"
Nate	Blink. Blink. "...Who?" Nate asked, because it was a safer question than 'are you hitting on me'. Which he did not want to think about.
Joy	"Sting, yeah," Joy explained, in the kind of voice the young always used to tell their elderly grandparents about televisions. Except with more enthusiasm. For all that Nate was high up on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s most wanted terrorist list, he apparently had somewhat of a fan following. "A rock star, works to save the Amazon, can make love for hours... I thought all you older guys were into him?"
Nate	"Why should we be?" Nate deadpanned, mildly amused. "Making love for hours is nothing unusual." A little further ahead in time, he would start blaming Wade for these kinds of jokes. Right now, he was probably doing much the same.
Wade	Wade just stared at him. "Bad messiah! No making jokes! It'll only confuse the poor girl--" he glanced over at her. "-and make her crush on ya even more. You just collect them, don't you?" Sighing, Wade sat back. "You better be so damn glad you didn't drag Dom along for this."
Nate	"I haven't spoken to Dom in--" And then the truck slammed the brakes, tires screeching loudly. The force flung Joy back, but Nate's reflexes had kicked in, grabbing a hold of something to steady himself.
Wade	"If this ends up being all Lifetime, I am so kicking your ass!" Wade said, holding onto the thing that he could. Damn Nate.
Nate	Nate shushed Joy with the one hand he was currently capable of using (mostly because the other one was occupied by a figment of his subconscious). He listened carefully to the noises outside, pulling his arm lightly. Freedom of movement would be nice.
Wade	Wade dropped his arm quickly, brushing off imaginary lint. "Are we gonna get shot now?" He asked, peering out of the truck. What? It wasn't like any of them could see him.
Nate	"Not if I can help it." So quiet that he could still hear the shouting outside, Nate moved down towards the front of the truck, ripping some wooden boards off the floor. He motioned for Joy to move.
Joy	And Joy slipped out, holding her bag and her hands high. S.H.I.E.L.D. never hired 'stupid enough not to get the plan'. Well, in this time period, anyway. Sort of. Okay, they did, but Joy wasn't one of them. "Hey, Americans!" A voice called to the truck, "Get out! Don't be afraid!" "Okay, okay! Hold your horses!" Which was all she managed to say before the bag was ripped from her hands.
Wade	Wade hopped out with her, bending down to look for Nate under the truck. "Always gotta be tricksy, huh?"
Nate	"Shhh." He heard the others calling for 'the other one'. That was his cue. Nate sped forwards, pulling a gun from an unsuspecting man on horseback, who almost went crashing to the ground--. Shots fired at him by the suddenly aware struck his newly-fashioned human shield and Nate shot back, catching another bullet in the palm of his metal hand, firing, firing-- And then the front lights of the truck illuminated nothing but corpses, horses and Nate, clicking on the safety and putting the gun away somewhere where he could get it. Leaving time for Joy and the remaining crew to clamber from their hiding places.
Wade	Hiding place, schmiding place. Wade clapped, going over to try and nudge one of the bodies with his foot. Nope, still not working. "They can't hear me, none of 'em but you can. Which, doesn't really lend any credibility to the whole 'not a figment of your imagination' thing, but... ya know. I am a real boy."
Nate	"If you say so," Nate replied, before his attention was caught by something more interesting. Namely, the contents of Joy's backpack. "...Why would anyone need two million dollars worth of comic books in the middle of the Kazakhstan steppe?" In the background, the crew beat up on the traitorous teammate responsible for the attack. He paid them no attention at all. Not even when the sounds of violence clearly carried over.
Joy	"To ransom a small nuclear warhead, of course," Joy said, grinning. She swung her backpack over her shoulder.
Nate	The violence picked up in volume behind him. "Of course," Nate said, with a kind of world-weary resignation.
Wade	"Never underestimate the fanboy, Nate-o. They control more than you're think."
Nate	It was really easy to fall back into the habit of ignoring Deadpool. Except for where he really was pointlessly irritating. Not that Nate cared much. About that, or a good chunk of the rest of this. With a sigh, he got up on the horse, waiting and watching calmly as what remained of the locals did much the same. "Comic books move easier across the border." The horses belonged to their attackers, and their attackers were dead: hence, it was logical that they belonged to them, now.
Joy	Joy came up beside him. On horseback. "Nathan... Mind if I ask you another personal question?"
Wade	"No, Joy, The Goblin Prince is not a good nickname for Nate." Wade might very well be losing his mind over not getting to talk to anyone but Nate for so long. "He prefers Priscilla."
Nate	Nate rubbed his forehead. And then pinched his brow. "Quiet," he told Wade, mostly for his own sanity. "No," he told Joy, mostly because he was in a talking mood. Not so much talking, really. More like preoccupied, with the occasional boggling interruption.
Joy	"Your profile mentions rather advanced telekinetic and telepathic abilities-- yet you used none of them in this fight...?" Joy asked, considering him with some deeper curiosity. She was, after all, still an agent.
Nate	"These days, I don't trust... myself." He didn't look at her-- really, this wasn't for her benefit at all.
Joy	That reminded her of something... "Would that have anything to do with what happened in Rio?"
Wade	Oh, right. Rio. That had kinda gotten around and scared a lot of Wade's... co-workers off jobs involving Nate. Wusses. "I'm gonna go with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents being dumb for that question," he said, looking away. "Sure, let's ask Mr. In Control about big bad traumas. Ooo! Can we talk to Jean about that time she ate a planet next?"
Nate	"Yes," Nate answered. He wasn't looking at her. Or at Wade. Or anywhere, really. "But probably not in any way you'd understand."
Joy	"Try me!" She was back to grinning openly at him.
Nate	"Did you know what happened after I wiped dozens of innocent minds in that area?" Nate asked, ignoring the cheer to the best of his ability. He had a lot of ability.
Joy	"Eighty-three by our records, some of them partially." It was hard to overestimate the sheer power of a fangirl's knowledge. "And innocent is debatable."
Nate	The rationalizations of the young... "I slept like a baby," he said, simply.
Wade	"A giant baby. You forget how freakishly tall you are." Wade sighed, trying to kick one of the bodies again. So fucking frustrating. "Nate--" Yeah he had nothing. "I really wanna go home now. Then we can have a lot of beer and repress all this."
Nate	"Can't go home again," Nate muttered.
Joy	Joy didn't get it. "So?"
Nate	Funny, really, when he was right. "I remember trying to feel awful about all those people, but in the end I found that the only thing I cared about-- was me. How it would affect me. My prowess. My strategy. I only really cared about myself."
Joy	"You're my ideal, you know," Joy told him with a grin. "Bang, you burst in and do what needs to be done! Bang, you slip out, no guilt or any of that crap!"
Wade	A gun went off. Nothing happened, of course, it was Just Wade. He fired at her head again. And again. "Then you fucking move forward. That's what your Askani crap says, right? You keep going until you find that home. And hold onto it--" He thought back to Aliya and how nice she had been for Nate. "--even when things fall to crap."
Nate	"Told you you wouldn't understand." The I'm-Right voice had rarely sounded quite like it did directed at Joy. "Never mind." Nate spurred his horse to move. "It means I'm a threat," he said. To Wade, this time. "That's all it means."
Wade	"Bullshit!" Wade shouted after him. "Is this why you don't leave me the hell alone? Some stupid need to fix what you can't in yourself?"
Nate	"Why would I do that?" That was the fun of memories, truly-- the remembering party's voice tended to stay with you. Annoying or not. "Who would buy peace from the man who can't find it in himself?"
Joy	Whatever it was he was talking about, Joy wasn't entirely clear. "Hey!" she shouted after him, poking at her own horse to move, "Was it true what you said about, y'know, lovemaking?" Because that was important.
Wade	There were some things about his friends that Wade just never wanted to know. Ever. "Don't answer that, Nate. I beg you, don't answer that."
Nate	And there were some things Nate just did not want to talk about. Ever. Especially not in front of Deadpool. "...That's a rather personal question."
Joy	Catching up with him, Joy waved it off. "You can tell me in the Bahamas!"
Wade	"Oh, this can only end in tragedy," Wade muttered, trailing after them on foot. This stuff sucked.
Nate	The sky had a funny way of fading from night to day-- nothing to be worth remembering in between, it seemed. And yet the ride had an odd ability to feel like forever when Nate's horse finally came to a stop and he eyed Joy with something akin to fondness. Just not that kind of fondness. More like a tolerating fondness reserved for old men around the young.
Joy	"How about a deal," Joy said, grinning at him, "You stay out of my way and I won't tell my people I saw you."
Nate	Ah, there was that wry glance. "Not 'till you arrange another bonus, anyway."
Joy	Joy snickered. "You do read minds, don't you?" She took off towards the silo up ahead, brandishing her backpack like a weapon. She had a deal to go through on.
Nate	Leaving Nate mostly alone, outside, with only Deadpool and one of the locals for company. The man's name, he'd been told, was Kolya: he'd acquired a small nuclear weapon to sell. Kolya, however, seemed to be more preoccupied with the bird sitting on his arm than anything else. "So, how does one find an atom bomb in the first place?"
Kolya	"One knows where to look," Kolya responded, feeding his bird. "My brother asked, 'Who should we sell this to? The Chechens? The Taliban?' and I said, 'No. The Americans.' You have a lot of atom bombs, eh? You won't use this one! No blood on our hands!"
Wade	Wade fell back on the ground, incredibly sick of the damn walking. Even if it wasn't real walking. "Exposition somewhere else! I'm tired!"
Nate	"I don't particularly care if you're tired," Nate informed him. Which was a courtesy. He could've just been ignored. There was something that might in some universe almost approach a smile on his face as he regarded Kolya. "Nice bird."
Kolya	"You like it?" He raised his arm, watching the bird expand its wings. "It's a golden eagle. Ever wanted to be an eagle?"
Nate	This, Nate could emphatise with. More than he'd like to admit to. "A whale," he corrected-- deep under the water, where freedom reigned, far away from responsibilities.
Kolya	"That's okay," Kolya said, moving towards his horse with the bird, "Whale's good, too."
Wade	"A whale?" Wade snickered from his spot on the ground. "You are such a dork. And if you try pulling that swimming in the ocean when it's winter after this is all over because of that comment, so help me god I will bodyslide us to the X-Mansion and tell Scotty that you want to talk about your feelings."
Nate	And there was that no doubt familiar eyeing thing again. "I don't want to talk to Scott about my feelings." Just no.
Kolya	"Vodka, my friend?" Kolya was offering.
Nate	"Thank you." Vodka was just about what he needed after all of this.
Wade	"That's the point, Nate," Wade said, exasperated. "It's a threat. I could also threaten to bring up your long, luxurious hair again, but you'll just ignore me." He sat up and watched the vodka. "You owe me so much alcohol when this is over. And the next season of Project Runway."
Nate	Nate would ignore him, thoroughly at that, and was about to do just that when the gunshots sounded, frightening Kolya's bird considerably. His head shot over in the direction of the noise automatically. Dammit.
Wade	"And this'll be the big trauma, huh?" Wade asked, not moving from his spot, but looking away now. "I shouldn't be here."
Nate	Had Nate's conscious mind been here, he'd probably have agreed-- in that resigned manner of the Askani, accepting his presence here. Without it, though, all there was were Nate's frantic footsteps, into the silo-- further in, further in, until he found Joy's dead body, soaking blood into the ground. And a woman, barging out with a suitcase, complaining, "I was thinking, Kolya, two million is not enough..." Nate's left eye glowed. "We'll sell again, and again, and again..." the woman prattled on, but Kolya knew what was up (Kolya understood) and pulled the cap from his eagle's eyes. The glow just grew, and the eagle flew-- And then there was nothing but light. And then there was nothing. Nothing but a crater, and Nate, and a single lost man, and half a horse, twitching gently still in the afternoon sun.
Wade	Wade? Wade did the smart thing and kept his mouth shut. As far as he was concerned, he never saw any of this. Because Nate was kind enough to pretend he didn't see anything when that thing with Umbridge went down.
Kemhebek	"No!" the old man whimpered, falling down to his knees, "Please! Not me! Not meeee..."
Nate	But Nate-- Nate was not inclined to be anything other than a silent presence-- or rather, a silent non-presence, glancing one way, then the other. And then fleeing, on foot, into the desert. Who knew where he was going-- he just had to get away. Couldn't, though. Not from himself.
Wade	Glancing back at the crater, Wade stayed where he was. He waited for things to fade again. "Damn it, Nate. Just tell me where the hell you are so we can get out of here."

[[OOC: NFB, NFI, preplayed with the the partner in crime spring_lost]]