mouthy_merc | The Mainland - Red Light District, Tuesday Evening.

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The Mainland - Red Light District, Tuesday Evening.

Ah, strip joints, how Deadpool had missed them so.

Though the fact that he was there with a nun made it a bit awkward. Especially since he had a VERY awkward morning after with her recently.

He blamed the cupcakes.

"So! Should we go for a theme? Naughty Nurses? Sexy Librarians? Hot Nu--Police Officers."

[[ooc: for the nun and NFB due to distance]]

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"I appreciate women of all hair colors, maybe you ought to look past your bigotry toward those with non-blond hair," He told Rosette, before looking around for a strip club with a clergy theme.

"I think we should get Yuki a male naughty librarian stripper."

"Hey, now," Rosette grinned. "I share my room with a purple-haired demon, you can't say anything to me about bigot--" Suddenly, Rosette seized Deadpool's arm excitedly. "Oh! Oh! Cowgirls! Over there! That'd be an awesome theme!"

"Mmm, Inez," Wade said to himself. He couldn't help but wonder how she was doing nowadays. Maybe he should give her a call.

Shaking his head to clear out thoughts of hot blonde mercs, he waved his hand toward the strip joint. "Lead the way Sister."

And so Rosette did, with gusto, brushing past a exiting patron that seemed to cross himself and decide to stay a little longer. She gave a quick appraising glance around. Her head tilted slightly. "That kinda looks like my Halloween costume...No, nope. That one covers much more..."

You'd think a guy in a red costume with guns and a nun walking into a strip club would draw more attention, but no. Everyone probably assumed they were into some kinky sex games.

Wade tore his attention away from the boobies to stare at Rosette.

"What cruel twist of fate kept me from being here for Halloween?"

"I still have the costume, you know," Rosette said, slightly sing-song, as she found a bar and leaned back on her elbows on it as she thoughtfully looked around with an admittedly dopey grin on her face. She was a nun in a frickin' strip joint. It was awesome.

Which did actually garner some attention from the girls. A small flock of off-duty strippers were sort of collecting around her. "Oh, wow, those are real, aren't they? If not, I want your surgeon's number." "Where'd you get a costume like that? Is that vintage?" "Ohmigod, Sister Rosette?"

...The last one made her stop just preening and look over at the slim redhead with a blink. "Uh...?"

"It's Aimee. From...uh, the orphanage."

Blink, blink. Slow recognition. "What the heck are you doing here? You're only fift--"

With a sudden cry, Rosette had about four strippers on her covering her mouth and making various 'shut the fuck up' gestures. Rosette got the hint. But nubile little jailbait insisted, "I could ask you the same question. I have three little orphan brothers to help feed. What brings the nun who brought us Christmas presents doing in a strip joint?"

"Birthday present! Not for me, a friend. It's his birthday Friday." She grin proudly. The girls seemed impressed.

So bringing a nun to a strip joint was like taking a puppy for a walk by a group of hot women, huh?

"And a very special birthday it is," Wade added from behind the gaggle of girls, quite enjoying the view. Man did he miss living in a world where woman with breasts that defied gravity pranced around in spandex on a regular basis.

"Can any of you lovely and," He looked at Aimee. "Extremely nubile ladies help us with this?"

The lovely and extremely nubile ladies turned away from the nun with simultaniously quirked, overglittered eyebrows, until Rosette said, "S'okay, girls; he's with me."

"Ohhhhh," came the chorus of accepting nods.

Wade was quite sure he missed something there. He eyed the glitter warily. His brief stay in Fandom so far had taught him to fear for his sexuality when sparklies were involved.

"You know, I'm taking you to a damn merc bar next time we leave the island. That is totally supposed to be my line."

Poor Deadpool. Didn't he know that insecure girls who took their clothes off for money would just instantly click with an accessable and clearly rebellious figure of supposed feminine authority? Especially one who brought one of them Christmas presents?

See? Charity did pay off!

Rosette just smiled at him. "Sounds great."

Of course, if he took a pretty little thing like Rosette, despite how confident she was with guns, they would eat her alive. That would be the reason why Deadpool was also planning on bringing the special knife he originally had set aside for Tannim.

"Good, it's a date filled with more violence than you can shake a stick at," Wade replied before turning toward the jailbait. "So, would you ladies be willing to help a nun and a merc find some nice strippers for my roommate's birthday?"

Okay, the collective apathetic shrug all-around was a tiny bit creepy. "Eh, sure, I guess?" "How much's it gonna pay?" "I'll have to check with my, uh...agent." "This jus' a basic entertainment gig, or you two expectin' a little...y'know, more?" "Are you sure those are real?"

That last one ended up with a poke, which lead to a giggling, slightly blushy nun, because that kind of tickled.

Ah, strippers. They were much worse than mercenaries about getting paid.

He fiddled with one of the pouches on his belt before producing a rather large roll of hundreds. If only Tex would stop freaking stealing his wallet he wouldn't have to carry his cash around like this.

"And after the job entertainment is up to him, I think he'd punch me for paying someone to sleep with him. Wait, no. He'd poison me and then when I was down, he'd punch me. A lot. And yes, they're real. Fake ones bounce differently."

Rosette shot Deadpool a bemused look from over the sea of flesh; yeah, like he'd really know about her bouncing breasts...

Okay, so he would. Because she had to be so damn bouncy all the time. But she couldn't help it!

"Sounds good," the supposed head stripper shrugged. "We'll be there."

"Hooray!" proclaimed Rosette.

It also might have been because she was from before medical technology was able to give women the kind of breasts that would look normal on a Barbie doll.

"And to make sure Yuki is happy, we should get him some male strippers too," Wade suggested. "I'm sure he'd love that."

Was Wade smirking under his mask or just smiling politely? A good question.

The nun pouted a little. "Deadpool! Yuki's not the only one who might like a male stripper or two."

"Yeah, yeah. Blonde priest, I heard ya." He waved for her to follow him. "Come on, let's find us some male strippers and I never thought those words would come out of my mouth without being followed by: 'Because all the women in the world have died'."

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The Mainland - Red Light District, Tuesday Evening.

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