Apartment Above Wellspring Arms, Saturday Morning

[mouthy_merc]

It was a pretty normal Saturday morning, even if Deadpool was only over that night so he could mock Nate in the morning for being all antsy about teaching his mom.

Seriously, the Summers family was just so messed up.

But that would be when he was more conscious. Right now he just turned into Nate and wrapped an arm around his waist. Odd thing, though, was it felt like someone was doing that to him. Two someones.

Oh, naughty dreams.

[[For that guy and... swords]]

Comments

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

Nate's jaw set. "What are you?" he asked, again. "I don't get any psychic reading off of you beyond a few minutes ago. You're something new."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"We're swords," The one snuggling Wade's chest said like that was so painfully obvious. "And we remember you," The other added, eyes narrowing to slits.

"Not easy to slice or stab," They said in an eerie unison.

Wade was... not letting that get him down. "Hey! They're fun party kinda girls! I knew keeping them in sharp working order over the years would pay off."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"They're also made to penetrate," Nate said, idly, lowering the gun. Hadn't put it away yet, mind. Or taken his eyes off of them.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"...a sphincter says what?"

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"Swords," Nate said, matter-of-factly. "Function over form, Wade."

He finally lowered his gun completely. "The island at work."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

One of them cooed as the other wrapped her arms around his waist and groped now.

"You mean--? Oh, c'mon! Hot Asian chicks are all over me and they just wanna--you know what, I hate you all."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"You'll survive," Nate said, dryly, and raised an eyebrow at the one groping him. "If you don't mind," he said, somewhat politely. To the groping party, yes.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"He takes care of us. Let's us play," They both said, looking back at Nate evenly.

"Now, ladies, there's enough of me--EE!" Wade was scrambling off the bed, pulling his boxers on up and hiding behind Nate. "Hands in very bad places! BAD. Bad swords!"

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

Nate wasn't going to roll his eyes, because Nate didn't do that unless circumstances were very dire indeed.

"No playing," he said, equally evenly. He wasn't moving anywhere, which probably did make him easy to hide behind. "But we can offer you breakfast."

Ever the politician, apparently.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Wade waved a stern finger at them. "We do not do that to people!"

They didn't even have the decency to look ashamed. "Food? Can we have enchiladas?"

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"We have toast," Nate replied, reaching to slip his gun back under the pillow. "And eggs."

Between Wade and himself, probably burnt eggs.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Enchiladas are better," One muttered sulkily. Until the other reminded her, "We've never eaten."

"Oh. Right."

They both looked pensive.

Wade give Nate a look. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"We could restrain them and put them in the shooting range," Nate said, mildly, "But that might make us look like bad hosts..."

He was going to keep an eye on them.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"...kinky, Nate." What, he was talking about tying up two scantily clad Asian chicks who were actually his swords. "If they're still around Monday, I'm making Cap deal with them."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"If they're still around by Monday, we have bigger problems," Nate said, and gestured towards the door. "Ladies?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Can we--" Freaky twins! "--go play with the big swords?"

Wade eyed him, going to grab some clothing before letting 'em near him again. "Later. Food now. So listen to the man."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"Go sit at the table."

Nate slid out from the blankets at last, shooting Wade another look of his own that spelled we might have to roll with this in muted letters.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

They followed the instructions, but only after shoot Wade one last look.

"...we should probably make sure they don't meet Jan."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"Jan's still asleep," Nate noted, glancing at the wall. He snagged his underwear off the floor and got to getting dressed as fast as possible.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"So... does this mean no 'good morning' sex to ease the trauma of being fondled by my swords?"

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"Wade, your anthromorphized, homicidal swords are currently rifling through my kitchen," Nate pointed out, sensibly, and went for his pants. "Let's deal with that, first."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"I was groped!"

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"I noticed that."

Not that Nate was the jealous type. Especially not over anthromorphized swords.

Well, maybe a little, but it mattered not in the shape of things.

"After the weekend."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"You're a cruel, cruel man."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"You really want to do something with those two loose in the apartment...?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Wade actually had to think about that. "Damn it. I hate this weekend."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"I'll buy you a beer on Sunday," Nate promised, snagging his shirt.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"You sure as hell better, mister!" And Nate was getting jumped as soon as they were swords again.

THEY HAD A SCHEDULE. STOP TAKING HIM OFF THAT.