Office Hours, All day Thursday

[mouthy_merc]

After spending the rest of the night wandering around town after his date because he didn't want to go home and walk in on Yuki and Cotton Candy having sex on the kitchen table or something, Deadpool was tired.

So tired, in fact, he was sleeping on his desk as he waited for his new minions to show up.

Good thing he's such a light sleeper that someone coming in his office would wake him up.

Comments

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

How about furious knocks from an angry, adorable lesbian?

Setsuna couldn't believe she had to crawl out of nice, warm, snuggly happy bedtime to go talk to her baka no hentai mentor. But she'd been putting it off enough; it was best to just get it out of the way and then hopefully never have to deal with him again.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"No Ratman! Don't put that there! What would the boy wonder say?!"

Wade blinked a few times as he woke up and rubbed the side of his face. "Come in," He replied, yawning at the end of it.

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna drew in a deep breath, going over the list in her head. You will not outwardly threaten him. You will not go into theatrics about how the salle's not far from here at all so it won't take long to fetch Yuunagi. You will make elaborate claims of beheading and disembowlment.

...unles he really deserved it. Which he probably did.

She opened the door and stepped into the office, remaining dramatically in the doorframe. "Deadpool, I assume?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Wade raised his arms over his head and stretched out, causing small popping noises as he went.

(I need to get a pillow in here.)

"Well, normally I would tell you that assumptions make you an ass, but in this case, you'd be correct."

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna quietly glared at him for a moment before crossing her arms over her chest and explaining why the hell she was there. "My name is Setsuna Sakurazaki; I've come into the knowledge that you are to be my faculty mentor. Which I do not feel I need. Especially one of such...questionable caliber."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Taking in the pissed off expression and the insults, Deadpool tilted his head and grinned happily. "Aww, you're much more adorable in person."

"An my caliber isn't in question! I have a twenty two, a forty five, a thirty eight..."

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

After Setsuna left unless she destroyed the office with her pissed-off lesbian power, in which case this is before, Tyler came by and rapped out a rhythm on the doorframe as he appraised the guy in the mask. "So I hear you're my mentor?"

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna let out a grunt. "I'm not adorable," she muttered, but at least he hadn't called her a lesbian yet. "And I wasn't speaking of guns, I was speaking of caliber in the moral sense."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Well that's a given." Deadpool rolled his eyes. "What kind of mercenary would I be if I had morals?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool flailed as he woke up. "Luke Cage, that's not what Iron Fist means!"

(Oh. Student. Well this is awkward.)

"I'm going to assume you're Tyler the lover of goats and not Rikku."

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna opened her mouth to argue that point but, being a mercenary herself, her jaw quickly snapped back into place and her shoulders slumped a bit. Damn. He had her there.

"Well," she said, finally, "the moral ambiguities that go along with being a mercenary don't necissarily have to bar you from the rules of simple common decency outside of the mercenary field. Like, say, a school setting, where rather innocent young nubile girls don't particularly appriciate having their name slanderously associated with a title that is constantly refering to the supposed nature of her sex life."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"What? That you're a lesbian? Don't worry about it! I accept you as you are, there's no need to hide your love away."

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

"I am not a lesbian!" Setsuna shouted, with a shriek that rang sharply with the sound of denial. Her arms crossed tightly over her chest again as she muttered, eyes rolling to the side, "Last night, if anything, proved that...."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Lesson one: Never mention your sex life around Deadpool. Only bad things can come of it.

"Oh?"

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

"The goat is my roommate," Tyler said automatically, then realized how it sounded. "And he's not usually a goat."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"I'm not judging," Deadpool assured him. "I just think that maybe you should tone down the interspecies love thing. Gives people the wrong idea about you."

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

Setsuna's eyes snapped toward him and narrowed. "Not that it's any of your business, of course."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool grinned like a loon. "Hey, you're the one who brought it up!"

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

"How do you know what the wrong idea is?" Tyler asked.

Then scratched his head. It probably wasn't a good idea to freak out his mentor. Even if he was wearing a mask. "Look, Alec was just randomly a goat this week. We aren't a couple. I'm not even gay. Or into goats."

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

"Out of self defense!" Setsuna insisted, with an expression that was half-pout, half-glare, as she gave Deadpool a long, cold, hard look. "Ugh." She finally turned her head in disgust, lifting her chin. "What exactly are the expectations involved in this whole mentor system, so I can meet the minimal requirements and not have to deal with you any more beyond that?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool nodded in a way that implied that he might believe him, but then again he might not.

"So, minion. What do you want guidance on?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Awww, don't be like that!" Wade pouted through his mask. "Don't let your inability to come out of the closet get in the way of the opportunity for me to teach you valuable things! Like, shooting people! Or stabbing people! Or picking up chicks!"

[bound2blade.livejournal.com]

"I don't need help stabbing people," Setsuna looked at him with the suggestion of proving that to him personally if she had to in her eyes. "Or...'picking up chicks.' I don't need to pick up chicks, thank you very much, because I have a lesbian lover in Japan boyfriend." Who turned into a chick...shut up, brain.

There was a pause. A slightly embarrassed shifting of her eyes.

"Maybe on the shooting part, though. I'm...m'not good with long range quite yet...."

Dammit! If it wasn't such a valuable skill...

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Ah, sniping. It takes a lot of practice to get good at." Deadpool sighed fondly, thinking back on the days in the military. Ah, emotionally scarring.

"And a sword fighter, huh?"

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler could tell he wasn't entirely being believed, but he didn't care. "How do you feel about chaos?" he asked. "Because I'd like to do something to liven things up around here."