Office Hours, Monday

[mouthy_merc]

Deadpool was in his office, being... Vice Principaly. Or something.

He still wasn't entirely sure what that meant other than plotting to take over the island for some nefarious purpose. So he was reading horrible RPS again.

It was starting to be a habit here, people.


[[Warning: super SP until done with work!]]

Comments

[puppy_fair]

There was a Zack in Deadpool's doorway. He was all... bouncy. And Zack-y. Which was pretty much a given at this point, wasn't it?

"Hey, Deadpool!" Grin. Grin. Happy wave. The usual. "We were going to do sparring or something like that sometime, right?"

Bounce. Grin some more. Ooze energy. If people could harness that, there'd be no need for mako reactors in Midgar.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool couldn't seem to look away from the sheer amount of bounce there. It was like watching a trainwreck of puppies bounding around in a sack of adorableness.

...he was very colorful in his metaphors.

"We coooould. Have you had any coffee by any chance? Brown liquid, filled with hyper making. Tastes semi-decent with ham added to it."

[puppy_fair]

"Nope! Should I have? I could probably get some pretty quick! There's this place in town, I think..."

The world was probably safer without a caffeinated Zack bouncing about. Bouncily. Like that aforementioned puppy trainwreck sack.

Of course, if anyone ever wanted to build a weapon of mass destruction...

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"...no. None of that for you," Deadpool decided firmly. "When would smacking someone around with a sword sound good to you this week?"

[puppy_fair]

Zack took a moment to very carefully consider what time he'd be--

"Oh, anytime is great for me! Except Sunday. I work Sunday, in this place where the dishes talk. Which is kinda weird, but I guess I should get used to weird, huh? Oh, and tomorrow and Friday I have class, so maybe Wednesday or Thursday or something? But really, whenever's good for you."

It was a wonder Angeal had never thought to muzzle Zack, really.

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"Keeping out of trouble?" Nate asked, poking his head in somewhere near the middle of the day.

"Trouble," Jan echoed. Then added: "Arrpees!"

She'd been yelling that all day. Nate was trying not to think about it.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"I always stay out of trouble," Deadpool insisted, fooling absolutely no one with that look of wounded innocence he had going there. "Have you been taking her to Arbys? Because that's just asking for an E coli filled Jack-In-The-Box incident there, you know. Badness all around, let me tell you."

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"I haven't," said Nate.

Honestly, it was a miracle he hadn't started growing his own crops just to be on the safe side. "I'm not sure it means anything."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Or it could be her code word to get everyone to kill all humans," Wade suggested, proving how he really shouldn't watch the History Channel on weekends where a Dan Brown movie premiered. He got way too into conspiracy theories.

"And then she'll take over and rule over us all with one grubby fist. Innid dat right?" Oh god, baby talk. "Who's our benevolent dictator? You are! You are!"

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"Fiiiiiist," Jan provided, dutifully, and giggled. That wasn't disturbing at all.

"You're a bad influence," Nate said, sounding utterly amused by the concept. "We'll get you Panama."

[veryverypopular.livejournal.com]

There was a light knocking on the door, followed by a call of "Mr. Vice Principal Deadpool, sir?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Come iiiin," Deadpool sang, not looking up from his dirty fanfic starring Namor and Reed Richards.

Mmm, hatesex.

And my, he had no idea Atlanteans were so well endowed.

[veryverypopular.livejournal.com]

Glinda swept into the room, bearing a very full plate. "I heard you on the radio the other night, when you were talking about my baking cookies for Mr. Minsc, and I thought to myself, well! I have nothing else planned for Monday morning, so I might as well bake up a batch for Mr. Deadpool, since he was interested in them as well. And here they are!"

She deposited the plate of cookies onto his desk. "And where have my manners gone to! I'm Glinda Upland, and it's a pleasure to meet you."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Cookies! Om nom nom nom!

...Deadpool composed himself upon being given and introduction. He could heat the cookies in a way that would put that damn blue monster to shame later.

"Aawww, aren't you a sweetheart." A beat. "These aren't poisoned, right?"

[veryverypopular.livejournal.com]

"No, sir, they're not," Glinda said. "Why would I want to poison you?"

[badassfullback.livejournal.com]

Riggins was as dumb as Sam Winchester sometimes was still annoyed by radio the other night and decided to bitchface talk to the man responsible.

The bitchface was in full force when he got to Deadpool's office.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Which was quite the shock when Deadpool looked up to see him. "Oh, mother of Miley! Don't point that thing at me!"

[badassfullback.livejournal.com]

Oh, he wasn't going to be pointing it away anytime soon. "I don't have VD."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

So, Deadpool did the logical thing and lifted a hand to cover most of the bitchface from view.

"Suuuure you don't. You just have a funny itch and a strange burning sensation when you pee."

[badassfullback.livejournal.com]

Riggins rolled his eyes. "Not that it's any of your business but my junk is just fine and nothing burns when I pee. I'd prove it to you but I'm afraid you'd like it too much."

[icecoldfrost]

Emma had questions. Emma did not like having questions, she liked answers.

"Who are you?" she asked, standing in the doorway. "And how the bloody hell do you know anything about me?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool pondered how best to answer those things for a moment.

"Deadpool. And I'm doin' the guy whose dad you're doin'."

Stay classy, Deadpool. Stay classy.

[icecoldfrost]

Emma didn't even blink.

"Darling, you're going to need to be more specific than that." No, she wasn't sleeping with anyone, but this...person didn't know that.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Oh, do I really?" SHE WAS SO WEE.

[icecoldfrost]

"Yes, you do," Emma said icily. "That's hardly a decent resume to give your lurid gossip any weight."