29 Chimera Court, Thursday Evening

[mouthy_merc]

Deadpool had yet to leave the house since returning, but he had however, stopped drinking.

So much.

Mildly buzzed was a nice place to be instead of WHYAMIPUNCHINGMYOWNLIVER drunk.

He sipped a beer and settled back on the cough with Max to watch the wonders of Flip that House. He kinda wanted to tear out the tiles in the kitchen now. To make the house be worth more, of course.

Hopefully.

"Oh please, like those cabinets can be fixed up! CHEAPSKATE!"

[[ooc: For the other parts of the Merc/Spy/Ninja trio should they happen by]]

Comments

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Aly was part looking for company and part checking up on Wade that she happened by the house bearing cake. She pushed the door open, not bothering to knock.

Well, she made sure there were no noises first.

"Wade?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"150,000? Ha! You'd be lucky to break even!"

Wade didn't so much ignore her as completely not hear her. The TV was up pretty loud.

Also? Who painted rooms that color and expected it to sell? Honestly!

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

She took that as an invitation and flopped on the couch beside him and Max. "Cake?"

On second thought, the fact that he wasn't paying attention worried her a bit.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

There was a cake and a voice.

Huh.

This did not bode well for his sanity. But still...

"Oooo! Cake!"

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Aly sighed. She'd forgotten about that.

"Wade. It's me, Aly."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Wade paused again, picking up Max to face him. "You know it's not good when you hallucenate other people's voices." Then eyed the cake. "And cake. That's just a cruel thing to do, brain. Couldn't it at least be something I didn't love so? Like a clown cake. Wait... no. Too evil."

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

She poked him with the hand not holding the cake. "It's me, you idiot. The one you went to Vegas with? The one you didn't get married to?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

He tossed the beer in the direction of the poking automatically, jumping away and looking around for some sort of an attacker.

And then wobbled a bit. Silly alcohol and it's affects on his sense of equilibrium.

"Even sounds like her too," He muttered faintly as he reached for a gun.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Aly snagged the beer out of the air and set the cake on the table since he obviously wasn't going to eat it. "For the Gods' sake, don't shoot me, Wade," Aly said quickly. "Umbridge turned me invisible."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

He didn't put the gun away, but at leas the safety was on now.

"Oh? And how do I know that you're really Aly then?"

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"How do you want me to prove it?" she asked dryly.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Tell me something only Aly would know and then I'll believe you aren't a voice in my head or some bizarre alien invasion."

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"If only I would know it, how would you know I'm telling you the truth?" Aly replied instantly.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"If you're Aly, you'll be tricksy enough to think of something," Wade replied, sitting down and poking at the cake. Sure felt real.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"You fooled yourself for a long time that I wanted your body," she said, grinning.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"You'd jump me in a an instant if you weren't with whatshisface," Wade shot back.

"Aly!" He reached down under the couch. "Booze?"

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"But you'll never know because Arashi would kill me," Aly laughed. "Yes, please, booze. And eat the damn cake."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

He stared at the floating beer bottle before slowly putting a fresh bottle of vodka on the table by the cake.

"Why are you bringing me cake?" He gave her... general area a suspicious look. "Have you been talking to Arashi?"

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Just to see what would happen, Aly took a gulp of beer then reached out to grab the vodka and followed it up with that. Then she started sputtering. "Ugh, that's VILE."

She frowned, not that he could tell. "Why? Is there a reason I should be bringing you cake? Or talking to Arashi?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

He'll take that as a no. "Not unless you got it into your head that one of us is pregnant."

Ah, avoidance. Fun times.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"If that were the case, I'd have brought more than cake," Aly said. "Which would be interesting really." She watched him for a long moment. "No, really, what's going on?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"We do like cake," Wade admitted. "House flipping, that's what's up. How does re-doing the bathroom sound?"

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"Horrible," she said immediately. "Why the heck would I want to spend my time re-doing a bathroom?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Because it would add so much value to the home!"

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Aly stared at him and drank more beer. "You live on an island with dinosaur attacks, trolls, and the odd floppy bunny or tiny penguin. You really think redoing the bathroom is going to increase the resale value?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Think it over for a moment, Wade nodded. "Pretty much. She wouldn't lie to me about this!" He said, pointing to the pretty realtor on the television.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"She hardly lives in Fandom," Aly said. "Where you've as much chance of the house getting stomped as being able to resell it in the first place." She eyed Wade, letting concern show on her face because, hey, he couldn't see it. "I heard you were away this weekend?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Which was good. Also good? The mask obscuring the slight narrowing of eyes.

"Yeah. Had business to take care of."

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"Business from home?" she asked.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Ah-yup," Wade replied, taking a long sip (gulp) of his drink. "You know, the usual. Shooting people, witty banter, exposition, drinking a lot."

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

It was obvious all of that was true, but... "Have more cake," she said. Obviously that was the answer.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

If only cakes was the answer to everything.

Wade slumped back against the couch, slouching down low, bottle of booze in his lap as he fiddled with the label. "I think I'll pass this time," He muttered, eyes closed, not that he could see Aly, but... you know.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Aly reached out to touch his shoulder. Cause that wouldn't be creepy at all. "I'll leave it here then."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

He didn't move away from the touch, but totally thought it was creepy.

Very creepy.

Grunting in reply, he lifted the bottle to his lips, he tilting his head back to down the rest of it. He was going to put the liquor store out of business from lack of merchandise pretty damn soon.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"Let me know if there's anything I can do," Aly said softly enough that he didn't have to acknowledge it. "And please tell me there are more models soon."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Good, because he wasn't going to. Because nothing was wrong.

(King of the healthy coping mechanisms, thy name is Wade Wilson)

"September."

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this was why she was planning on buttonholing Arashi not dirty at the earliest opportunity.

"That's better than it could be," she said, reaching over to try to scoop up Max.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"But still no Janice," He replied, though it was half-hearted at best.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

She leaned into him slightly because being invisible wasn't as much fun as one would hope. "No Janice. But maybe Tyra will have had work done."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"And as long as she hasn't enhanced that fivehead of hers, it just won't be the same," Wade replied, leaning back against the invisible Aly. "Otherwise she'd have to get drunk and mean to match her."

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"Drunk enough she couldn't remember the contestants' names?" Aly asked. "Cause that would be fun."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"No, just drunk enough so that she doesn't care and resorts to calling them by their worst feature."

Wade may have put too much thought into this.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

Aly laughed. "Hey, receding hairline. Get over here."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Exactly!" Wade replied with a sage nod. "Poor Bucktooth, she'll never be America's... Next... Top... Model."

Why yes, those dramatic pauses were quite necessary.

[tricksy-spy.livejournal.com]

"That's right nostril-breath, I'm talking to you now," Aly smirked.