Wade 'Deadpool' Wilson

It was his millionth Parents Weekend, so there he was in the office again. Being all official and Vice Principally.

And throwing pencils up into the ceiling again. He had at least half of them stick, so it was going pretty well. Because this is what you do when you work in an office and don't have to answer to anyone. Other than Zoe. And that freaky school board. God, how he hated that school board...

But his door was still open, of course. For the people.

Who aren't on the school board.

[[Open like a boss]]

Sure, Deadpool had a job to do and a class to prepare for tomorrow. And sure, he should probably be doing some serious work all those new kids settling in.

But was he?

No, no he was not. Instead, he was playing that goddamn music for Jan as he sent people horrible X-Men RPS. And yes, he was dressed up like Nyan Cat. Look, it was almost her birthday and there wasn't gonna be a crazy 'better than those damn Skywalkers' party, so he had to make up for that somehow.

Plus, he got to eat pop tarts while Jan stayed happy as she colored.

"Mmmmm, pop tarts."

[[Open!]]

So, yesterday Deadpool had some funny grey spots. Which, you know, easy to write off as a coloring error. It happens all the time! Like that thing with the Hulk that he's green because the inkers were freakin' laaaaazy.

But now it had spread to more grey spots. Which probably meant something was wrong. Since he had that kooky healing factor and all.

This meant he was going to do the completely reasonable thing and perch on the end of the couch to eat cereal from the box and watch bad television as he waited for Nate to be done getting Jan all cleaned and dressed.

Seriously, how did that kid manage to get dirty while sleeping? It was a secondary mutation. Had to be.

[[For that guy who is more than basic television]]

Skylie, otherwise known as: geewhizfellas, shes_got_legs, sake_shinigami, bootlessjane, daventryprince, bigdaddyswan...

Has accidentally spilled coffee on her laptop. The laptop itself is fine and still operational, but the keyboard needs to be replaced and we don't know how long it will take as of yet. So her characters will be going home for the break (for students) and laying low on island (for adults).

Funny story? The keyboard right now is stuck on the letter 'm'. It freakin' loved that coffee, man.

So, he lived on the floor above the place, that meant Deadpool had free reign on the store. Really. Nothing at all off limits other than the shiny, shiny guns from the future that Nate used to illustrate how he was from the 90s and created by Liefeld. So, he was just going to stare at them and pine.

That was Deadpool's excuse for not noticing the small, green thing sneaking up on him. Not until it was too late and he'd already been bitten.

"Aw, c'mon! I have a healing factor! This isn't even fair!"

[NFI and establishy because I'm not that nice...]

As many already know from Twitter, bitten_notshy / twintuitionist / chief_cheerio / withoutverona / life_inshadow / tyler_back is in the hospital with adorable baby numero dos!

While she has an iPad, the hospital internet has a random and cruel filter on LJ, so she will incommunicado for a few more days.

In the meantime... eeeeee! Baby!

Since it was Parent's Weekend and he'd already bonded with Scott over radio, Deadpool decided it was time to be available for the questions from concerned parents.

And play Angry Birds.

"Goddamn pigs."

Yeah, he was who you wanted your vice principal to be.

[[Open, of course!]]

Oh yes, you could tell it was a proper Marvel bar when people didn't so much as look twice at a guy in a red costume, carrying swords and guns wandered on in. There might have even been a small group at the end of the bar in horrifyingly bright colors that showed off their career choices.

No, not drag performers.

Or actors.

"I think we're supposed to start on beer. Or is it liquor? I'm pretty sure it's beer, though. Just as long as you don't drink anything girly after."

[[For a Skywalker]]

So, guess what Deadpool hadn't done in ages. No, not kill folks. And no, not end up in other books to boost their sales by being bigger than Jesus The Beatles Wolverine.

It was tossing sharpened pencils at the ceiling to see how many stuck. God. Get with the program.

...he was an awesome influence.

[[Oooopen]]

So, Deadpool had some chicken. And access to the internet.

Someone should not allow him to combine the two after finding this website. Because now all he was doing was dancing to the horrible, horrible commercial. Hey, it was a step up from Dora the Explorer, okay?

Just be glad for that.

[[...idek. OPEN]]