mouthy_merc | 25 Unicorn Street, Late Tuesday Night (Reply)

Deadpool started digging under the couch for his stash of booze. Why exactly he hid alcohol there was anyone's guess. After a few moments and a couple times bumping his head, he emerged with several bottles of booze. "We," He told Arashi with exaggerated seriousness. "Are getting drunk. And then I might go and burn down a church."

Arashi smirked and rolled his eyes as Deadpool scrounged under the couch and smacked his head. "The getting drunk I understand, but I'm kind of foggy on the burning of the church. Wouldn't that be the same as burning the shrine of a god?" He really didn't want to get any gods pissed at him.

Deadpool blinked and scratched his head to come up with an reason that wasn't 'Because I felt like it'.

He couldn't really so he just didn't answer. "No, I'm pretty sure it's not the same."

"Good," the blond nodded taking a few of the bottles from Deadpool. "That's the last thing I need is some God coming after me."

He wandered off into the kitchen, calling behind him. "So are we getting wasted or what?" It's not like he knew how to mix drinks or anything.

Deadpool didn't mention the fact that one of their co-workers was supposedly a god because that was just weird. Even though he had technically been one himself for a little bit.

"Grab the cake in there!" He let himself fall back and flop on the couch. "Nothing says good times like cake, booze and wanting to murder people," He muttered to himself. "Mmm. Cake."

That didn't change the fact that the ninja didn't want any gods coming after him.
Yondaime snorted and grabbed what he could; cake, plates, glasses and the booze and set them down before flopping on the couch himself. He glanced over at the mercenary and handed him one of the bottles. "Want to talk about it?"

"Nope!" Deadpool said cheerfully, tugging his mask off downing half of the bottle in one motion. Damn that was some good whiskey. "Talking means I care and I don't. I just had the sudden urge to get really really drunk." A pause. "And burn down churches."

"Right," Arashi sighed and grabbed a bottle of vodka, it looked like sake, so it was probably good. "Well I'll get drunk with you, if just to make sure you don't burn down the church."

"But it deserves to be burned down!" Deadpool protested. "Standing there all church like. What has it ever done for this town? Nothing! That's right!" He continued to chug his bottle until it was empty and then grabbed another one. "I'll get you a nice stripper for being my drinking buddy tonight. Maybe one dressed like a hot kunoichi for you."

(Mmm. Sexy female ninjas.)

"Uh, no thanks," Yondaime said warily, watching Wade drink. "Last time I was with a kunoichi, I ended up with a son." He explained, eyeing his bottle of vodka that he was only halfway through. "You know there's not going to be enough booze for me if you keep going like that."

Wade leaned over and pulled out more bottles from under the couch. Sigh. His stash was going to be gone after tonight. "So, what then? Naughty schoolgirl? Naughty Librarian? Naughty insert profession here?"

He didn't believe that Wade was actually going to get him a hooker, Arashi shrugged and drank more vodka. "None of them sound overly appealing," he admitted freely. "Anyone of them would be nice, but.." He shrugged again.

"...but?" Deadpool prompted, taking a big sip from his bottle.

Arashi sighed heavily. "But the thought of any of them don't exactly make me jump out of my seat in anticipation or anything. There's really only been a few women that ever could."

Wade gave him a sympathetic and slightly drunk pat on the knee. "Not missing much. Women? SUCK. All they do is screw you over and then trample on any hope you might have had."

"Men do the same," Arashi pointed out, finishing the bottle of vodka and starting on another randomly selected alcohol. "And they're more brutal and blunt about it."

Arashi would have to hurry if he wanted to keep up with Deadpool who was starting on his third bottle and was definitely showing signs of getting drunk. Healing factors sucked when you wanted to get wasted. Made him want to write an angry letter to Wolverine. And burn down the X-Mansion. But he doubted they would notice. Replaced the damn thing every 6 months because it always got destroyed.

He let his head fall back and hit the couch, closing his eyes. "Stupid fucking Nate. Stupid Rosette. Fuck 'em all."

"Nate? You keep mentioning him. Something new happen or is this the same old stuff about the tentacles that we don't talk about?" He asked. Arashi was starting to get a bit knockerd, but he had a smaller frame than Deadpool so he didn't require as much.

"Punched me in the back of the head last week," Deadpool replied between drinks. Like he was gonna talk about this sober. "Thought I killed someone. Fucker. We're divorced, he doesn't get to randomly show up and be the big guest star!"

"At least he just punched you? God knows what people are gonna do to me if they find out I'm alive." The ninja grumbled. "Probably make me wish I were dead! Doesn't matter too much though, I'm too chicken to tell them."

"Screw 'em. Nobody should tell people, you know..." Wade waved his hand in a circle. "How to live an' stuff. I'll stab 'em for ya if they ever show up."

"No don't do that... that would be bad." Arashi sighed, slumping into the couch as he finished of his second bottle. "I wouldn't want anything to happen to him. I still love him.... though, I know he's moved on. I'm happy for him.... I really am..."

Deadpool gave his bottle of whiskey a pensive look. "Everyone moves on. Especially when you don't want them to."

"Is that what Nate did?" Yondaime asked, going where his befuddled mind led him.

"No. Yes. Maybe." Not even Wade was sure whether or not he screwed up that friendship. He probably did. Always did. He downed his bottle because alcohol always made things clearer.

"I'm sorry then, "Arashi said soberly as he leaned over and gave Wade a small kiss on the cheek as he leaned on him. "Did ya love him?"

Hey. Kissing. Wade hadn't been aware that there was kissing involved in this. Sure, there was nice groping when they were women, but this was new.

"Believed in him," He admitted grudgingly.

And snuggling too! Arashi settled down against Wade, nursing the bottle of spiced rum. "Tha's sometimes jus' as bad."

"It is."

Had he been more sober, he probably would have questioned this more. But a warm body was nice. Very nice. He shifted closer and stole some of Arashi's rum.

"Hey!" The blond pouted as Wade snagged his rum. "I wash drinkin that!" He said, making a pathetic attempt to grab for it

Which caused Wade to lazily stretch away toward the other end of the couch to keep it out of Arashi's reach. His rum. He bought it, damn it. "Too slow."

Arashi pouted and awkwardly climbed over Wade to get to the bottle, with a couple of near misses with the ninja's knee and the merc's groin. "Mine~~~!!!"

Deadpool twisted in place to put Arashi under him because knees and groins are never a good combination. "Nuh-uh!" He took a deep sip.

The inebriated ninja gave an indignant squeak as he found the mercenary on top of him, teasing him with the sweet spiced rum. He pouted and squirmed. "Pleaseeeeee Wade?"

Well, since he asked so nicely. Wade slumped against him, cheek resting on Arashi's shoulder sleepily. He loosened his grip on the bottle and brought it within reach. He mumbled something into the ninja's shoulder that might have been 'Rum's for pirates' or 'Hey look, a peanut.'

Arashi didn't much care what Wade said; he had good booze and a warm weight pressed against him. Things weren't too bad. The blond reached for the booze, chugging a good amount of it before putting the bottle down and squirming under the mercenary's weight. "Wade, you're heavy," he pointed and moved his hips back and forth to try and dislodge the other man.

The squirming really wasn't helping at all. First there was kissing and then cuddling and now this? Wade cracked one eye open and frowned at him. "Stop that. 's comfortable here."

Well Arashi was getting more and more uncomfortable with the warm body weight pressed against him. He whimpered slightly and frowned back. "Well it's not for me! You've got your hips against a very sensitive area!"

Oh. Wade had just assumed that was a knife.

Not that he was complaining that at least someone was attracted to him. He shifted his hips slightly in reply.

He sighed as the pressure lessened. "Much better...." he still slurred slightly and tilted his head to rest against Deadpool. "Feeling better now?" Arashi asked rubbing at Wade's back.

There was a small movement at the hand on his back. Okay, weird. "Can we still burn down the church?"

“No,” Arashi mumbled, holding tightly to Wade’s shirt. “Not allowed to leave. I don’t wanna be alone and you shouldn’t be.”

Alone. Yeah, Deadpool understood that. "Okay." He shifted again to get comfortable on top of Arashi. And wow, when did this get to be the complete opposite of heterosexual? Replacement Vader was right, something really was in the water.

It took Arashi a moment to figure out what Wade had just said. "What? Really?! But..." He almost didn't want to say it. "Wouldn't you prefer it if I were a girl?"

Yes. Yes he would, but hey. They were there and there was potential sex to be had so...

He bit down on Arashi's neck. "You talk too much." And if Wade told you that, you just knew it was true.

Arashi opened his mouth to say more, but as Wade bit him, Arashi shivered and moaned, perfectly willing to stop talking if that's what Wade was going to do.

Yup, that's what he was going to do. Wasn't bad so far. He hummed the Happy Days theme song absent mindedly as he continued to give Arashi one heck of a hickey.

It had been so long since anyone had done anything with him that the ninja was on pins and needles, squirming and trying not to moan too much. Damn sensitivity. He didn't know what the song was from, but he was amazed that the man could suck and hum at the same time and made him wonder if he'd be up for trying it on something else.

He probably could do more interesting things while humming and sucking. Fast learner and all. Shifting again, Wade spread his legs to straddle Arashi's thighs on the narrow couch. Not terribly comfortable anymore, but sex trumped comfort in his mind.

Sex also trumped clothing as Arashi found he was wearing far too much! A long trench coat, over a survival vest over a turtleneck with long pants and leg wrappings. Yeah, waaaaaaay to much. As Wade shifted, the blond quickly shrugged out of what he easily could (that being the coat and vest) and then proceeded to get rid of any extra pillows that weren't needed. "You didn't need those, right?"

"Pillows, my arch nemesis," Wade replied, running his fingers through Arashi's hair and pressing down for a kiss.

Hmm kissing, real kissing! Arashi liked this and returned the kiss feverishly as he groped at Wade, making a moaning in the back of his throat. His hips jerked against the mercenary. "You need a bigger couch."

Blond hair. Nice. Wade continued to run his hand through his hair, damn near petting him.

"Maybe you're-" Kiss. "-just too big for the couch-" Kiss. "-and it's a normal size. Ever think of that?"

"The couch-" Kiss, moan. "-is fine for sitting, just not this." Arashi liked being petted, well to a point, there were other parts of him that liked it much more than his hair.

Deadpool was quite happy with the kissing and focusing on Arashi's hair color. Just that it happened to be the same shade as a certain nun's.

(Mmm. Completely healthy attractions.)

Arashi didn't notice too much, or mostly he just didn't care. He was getting attention that his body had been craving for quite some time and if he closed his eyes and just felt the mesh fabric that Wade wore, he could easily think of another person who also kept his face covered.

One hand stopped petting and traveled down as if to grope at Arashi's chest. Or lack there of. Hmm. This not a woman thing was messing him up. He frowned into the kiss, trying to figure out the next move.

It was very easy for Arashi, and honestly finding a chest would have thrown him off like whoaz, but he moved his hands down, pulling at the merc's shirt to remove it, or just do something with it! "We need lube, like now!"

Wade stopped the kissing and sat back on his heels. He blinked down at Arashi in confusion. "Lube? What for? Oh. Right. The gay sex thing. Couldn't we just keep kissing? And that just makes me sound gayer, doesn't it?"

(Yup. Going to start watching musical theater next.)

He knew going to see My Fair Lady had been a bad idea, but noooo. He just had to go see something while in New York, didn't he? With a sigh he looked around. Yuki and Shuichi were always having sex so there had to be some around here somewhere, right?

"No, not really," Arashi chuckled slightly with a roll of his eyes. It didn't really. "If we don't do sex, I am getting off somehow tonight." He demanded. "Preferring sex."

"Pushy pushy pushy," Deadpool muttered, toppling with less grace than he liked off of Arashi and the counch. He swayed slightly as he walked toward the bathroom for supply hunting. After a few minutes he wandered back out to the living room, now sans shirt and shoes. "Good God Yuki, how much of this stuff do you need?" He tossed the bottle at Arashi's head. "There. Lube."

(Lube was a fun word. Lube. Luuuuube.)

Arashi caught it with one hand and a smirk. "A lot of it. Believe me."

"Still. Surprised that kid can still walk if they go through it that quickly," Wade replied, plopping back down on the couch.

"You get used to it and the more lube you use the less damage done," the ninja explained as he downed more of the booze... he needed it cause he was starting to get too damn sober for all this and blunt. "Top or bottom?"

Wade snatched the alcohol away, drinking some himself. "How should I know? Not like I have any experience with the big gay sexxing. Contrary to the rumors about me and Nate."

"Okay then," Arashi sighed. "Well I can do either as long as I fucking get some and soon!" It was starting to hurt.

"Says the guys still fully clo~othed." Deadpool downed the rest of the bottle. Didn't want to sober up halfway through this.

"I thought I was getting warm..." The ninja sat up and pulled off his shirt and pants for that matter, looking up at Wade with a goofy grin. "Better?"

Not really, no. But the alcohol was making that less important. Wade rolled his eyes and pushed down his own pants, and yes those were little Deadpool boxers. He pounced on Arashi suddenly.

"Nice Boxers," he laughed as Deadpool pounced him. Not that he could say much as his were of frogs and shuriken.

They were excellent boxers! And Deadpool would have said so if he hadn't decided to get back with the kissing and hair petting. He settled back into Arashi's lap, damn glad he was so flexible.

Flexibility was a good skill to have with sex in general as it was one of the most intese work outs a person could do. Not that he would ever teach it in class. Arashi kissed Wade back, being sneaky as he slipped a hand down to rub at the front of Deadpool's narcissistic boxers.

They were very happy narcissitic boxers now, thank you very much. He pushed forward into Arashi's hand, holding onto his hair tightly.

With a happy package? Arashi continued rubbing, wincing though as Wade pulled at his hair. He stopped and shifted. "Lay back..." he panted.

"As long as you keep doing that, can do." There was a hand doing very nice things to his cock, like Wade could say no to anything right now. He'd even say yes to murdering his own mother. Of course, he'd still ask for money, but hey, it was a start. He lay back on the couch, pulling Arashi with him.

"I can do better than that," the ninja smirked as he shifted so that he was between Wade's legs, lowering himself down to open up the mercenary's boxers.

Wade tensed suddenly, watching him and waiting for more because there was a distinct lack of friction right now and that was nice damn it. "Haven't got all night," He said, poking Arashi on the side of the head.

Arashi rolled his eyes and quickly moved to shut Wade up, giving him an experimental lick before taking the whole thing into his mouth. No they didn't have all night, but Arashi wasn't going to rush it.

But rushing was okay by Wade! Hell, he insisted on rushing because wow did Arashi know what to do with his mouth. "Sweet Ruth Bader Ginsburg! You stop and I swear I'll kill you slowly and painfully."

Whoever that was. Arashi pulled off slowly, stroking with his hand as he caught his breath. "I don't plan on stopping until you're done," he said softly before going back and paying more vigorous attention to the merc.

Wade fought the urge to grab Arashi's head and just fuck his mouth because that would be rude to the guy giving you a blowjob and Wade was nothing if not polite and courteous. Instead he dug into the couch to keep his hands occupied. Oo! A cheeto! He started babbling dialogue from Singing in the Rain as the pressure built.

Hey Arashi knew that movie! What was Wade doing reciting lines from musicals while he was giving him a blowjob? Now that's just rude. The ninja wanted his full attention and knew just how to get it. As his mouth worked on the head, Arashi's hands stroked, one sneaking down to play lightly at the man's balls.

That just made him babble more and louder. He sucked in a deep breath and launched into Conjunction Junction to keep from cumming there. Some people talked dirty, he destroyed people's childhood memories by saying them during sex. Deal.

That didn't work so well for someone who was never exposed to those things as a child. He was killing people when he was ten years old. Ahh the life of a ninja. Arashi continued as he was doing, increasing the intensity bit by bit to make the man cum. Deadpool was eager to rush it wasn't he?

He tapped Arashi's head as gently as he could to let him know that he was going to cum now, so it might have hurt a bit. His hips bucked up as he tensed from the orgasm.

Arashi didn't seem concerned by that, but the warning was always apprieciated. Once Wade was done he leaned back, wiping the edge of his mouth. "That takes me back," he smirked.

Wade was a nice and happy little puddle on the couch. "I'm liking this gay sex thing now. No wonder all the students love it so much."

"Are that many of the students really gay? I don't have that many students in my class," the ninja chuckled and shot back some booze to wash out his mouth. "And this isn't gay sex, any girl could do this for you too."

"But you're not a girl and therefore... gay sex," Wade replied, raising his hands over his head like he was making a fieldgoal in a game of paper football. "And I'm not actually sure. All I know is the girls are waaay too interested in seeing guys kiss."

"Huh, well men are generally obsessed with lesbians, why not women with gay men?" It at least made sense to him. Arashi fidgeted as he sat, his boxers tenting uncomfortably. "You feeling recovered at all?"

Wade waved his hand in assent and let his head loll back. "You were a hot chick."

"Uh, thanks....?" Arashi frowned and raised an eyebrow. This wasn't helping him take care of his erection. "Are you going to talk about me as a girl?"

Finally lifting his head, Wade raised an eyebrow at Arashi. "Are you going to get with the lube using or what? Lube. Luuuuube."

The ninja snorted slightly with a smirk. "Yeah, we can use it. Take off your boxers." Yes he was being snippy and demanding, but he was horny damn it!! This was a very different Arashi than most people were used to seeing. He slipped off his boxers and put a small amount of lube on his fingers, spreading it on himself before sitting back down between Wade's legs.

Goodbye totally non-narcissitic boxers. He tossed them over by the television and settled back to wait for luuuuube. It was still a fun word. "Luuuube."

"Yes, lube and you'll be very happy for it." Arashi said positioning himself to show Wade what real gay sex was like.

Needless to say, that night? Lube was Deadpool's new favorite word for so many reasons.

[[ooc: Not for interaction, preplayed over e-mail with