Office Hours, All day Friday

[mouthy_merc]

-because I have cancer! And I'm stronger than that!

Deadpool leaned back in his chair, enjoying the cinematic masterpiece brought to him and his lil' Canadian buddy by the Lifetime channel. It had been playing non-stop since yesterday and Deadpool was almost certain that it would snap Grope-y Mcbadtouch over there out of whatever was affecting him.

He didn't know much about magic and was just piecing together information from various movie he had seen over the years. It worked pretty well so far.

Unless you count all the times it didn't turn out so nice, of course.

[[ooc: For the skater, but open for others if they want - and I'm a spaz and keep forgetting, Jude being there is NFB]]

Comments

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

There was a pounding at Deadpool's door.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool looked at Jude and then the door. (Hmmm, what to do, what to do.)

He opened the door a crack and slid out into the hallway, keeping Jude from being viewed and shutting it behind him. "Why hello small angry girl, what can I do for you?"

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

She glared up at him. "Did you kill my brother? Because if you did, I'm going to have to hurt you a lot."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

(Well crap.)

Deadpool paused and went through a mental list of all the people he had killed in the last year.

...this could take a while.

"Was he small and Mexican, with a big scar on the side of his face?"

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

"You killed Zuko too?" Katara asked. "When?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"No, I'm pretty sure his name was Luis. Pretty sure. It may have been Pierre though."

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara completely forgot about waterbending and hauled off to kick Deadpool in the shin. Hard. She totally wasn't stealing a move from Turtle really.

"What about my brother then?" she asked, getting more angry and upset.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Ow!" Deadpool hopped on one leg, wincing a bit. "Have you been hanging out with Turtle? Because I know I taught her to kick better than that."

He pouted. "I don't know what you're talking about. Unless he was an agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. Then it's entirely possible for me to have killed him."

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

"I can kick just fine!" Katara said, frowning. "And I don't know what shield is, but the girl on the radio said you killed my brother."

[dude-its-jude.livejournal.com]

Jude was trying to drown out the Lifetime by talking about Rikku.

Mainly about how smokin' hot she was and how much she had liked it too and other various things. He was actually in the middle of a sentence when a certain someone got a good deal less starts-with-w-rhymes-with-witch.

"And she makes this little sound like - whoa. Dude. Dude! Dude, what . . ." Jude's eyes slowly widened. "Ohhh shiiiiiiiiit."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

-I have an eating disorder!-

Deadpool turned off the TV and looked at Jude closely. "And how are we doing my magicked up little attempted groper?"

[dude-its-jude.livejournal.com]

"I didn't do it!" Jude gulped. "It wasn't me! I mean, like, it was kinda me but it wasn't 'cause I wouldn't!"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Standing slowly, Deadpool drew his knife and advanced on Jude.

[dude-its-jude.livejournal.com]

Jude tried to scootch the chair back, his eyes wide. "You totally deserve to kill me for doing that to her but please let me live so I can apologise."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deftly slicing the cut tape off without touching any skin, Deadpool put the knife away again. He tossed a candy bar in Jude's lap and leaned back against his desk. "If I was going to kill you, I would have done it in the tree," He said matter o' factly. "Now you and me are gonna discuss how exactly Rikku is going to see you. If ever."

[dude-its-jude.livejournal.com]

Jude grabbed for the chocolate bar like he hadn't eaten in two days. Which, y'know, he hadn't. He briefly considered the possibility that Deadpool had poisoned said chocolately sustenance, but he had also said that he wouldn't kill him.

So around a mouthful of peanuts and caramel, Jude said, "Okay?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

There was a soda offered too now. He wasn't a cruel person. Much. Anymore. SHUT UP.

"Now I understand there was some kooky hijinks involving magic so I won't hold this against you."

He picked up his phone. "But I think Rikku should decide what to do with you."

[the_merriest]

Rikku got there as quickly as was humanly possible. Because her mentor was alone with a Jude that he'd only mostly promised not to kill, and things did not seem promising. Also, Jude wasn't Jude? Hadn't been Jude? Really? ... Rikku ran.

And discovered the door was wedged shut. She knocked, quickly, holding her breath.

[dude-its-jude.livejournal.com]

Jude had one of those lesser of two evils dilemmas on his hands. He decided that he was more scared of the one at the door. "She's gonna kill me!"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool just stared at him for a bit. "Do you not remember the bits with a knife here?" He asked, shaking his head and yanking the knife out of the door frame to let Rikku in.

He should probably put the big sharp pointy thing away, but that wasn't his focus right now. Minion. Spells. Groping. BAD.

[the_merriest]

Rikku entered the room, realizing that she had no idea what was going on. At all.

She looked at Deadpool, at the knife, at Jude ... and at the chair, which looked suspiciously hostage-like. With the duct tape and all. And she felt sick.

"J-Jude?" She waited to see if he'd look up at her. "Are ... you okay?"

[dude-its-jude.livejournal.com]

Jude shuffled his feet a bit, unable to meet her eyes. ". . . yeah. I'm . . . better now."

[the_merriest]

Rikku stared for a moment longer. Not even looking up. Yeouch. Okay.

She looked over at Deadpool, shaking her head. "What's ... can someone tell me what's going on? Please."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool leaned back to sit on his desk, raising his hands, knife still in one, to do something pretty damn close to spirit fingers. "Magic. Or demonic possession, I was kinda lost on the details. But he's back to normal now so there's no need for me to have another warrant for my arrest. Or for Tex and the scary principal lady to kick my ass."

[the_merriest]

Rikku looked at Jude again, and then at Deadpool. And then Jude. And then the tape. And then closed her eyes.

"Fumigating your office. I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I fell for that."